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By Jenn Cox

It’s ten minutes before your toddler’s bedtime, and now they need a snack. And to find their favourite stuffy. And to maybe play hide and seek. And now a glass of water and a song, and whoops, they’ve spilled a whole bin of Duplo.

It’s no wonder it can be hard for toddlers to fall asleep at bedtime. (But of course, they fall directly to sleep when on a five-minute car ride at 4:00 pm.) Their little minds and little bodies are always go, go, go, and without a transition period between playtime and bedtime, it can be hard for them to wind down.

What helps? An established bedtime routine. A regular schedule of calming bedtime activities helps kids prepare their bodies and minds for a good night’s sleep. From the time my son was a baby and sleeping independently in his crib, we had a set routine that started at the same time every night: bath play, bath washing, putting on coconut oil and PJs, a book (or two), cuddles, prayers and good night.

A sleep routine signals to a toddler’s brain and body that it’s time to transition from wakefulness to sleep, promoting the release of sleep-inducing hormones.

Why a wind-down routine is crucial for toddlers

“Toddlers thrive on predictability. Their world is full of new experiences and big emotions, so having a consistent bedtime routine gives them a sense of security and control,” said Tracy Braunstein, a certified pediatric sleep consultant and owner of SleepTight Solutions in Montreal. She’s also a mom. “A familiar sequence of steps like bath, pyjamas, story and cuddles, helps signal to their body and brain that sleep is the next step. Bedtime routines can be established in infancy and are a pillar for good sleep hygiene.”

Studies show that an established bedtime pattern can have both emotional and behavioural benefits for toddlers, including reduced tantrums, improved emotional regulation and better daytime temperament. Plus, a routine provides a sense of predictability and security, which is benefits a toddler’s development, and can help reduce anxiety, stress, and frustration around bedtime.

Understanding toddler sleep patterns and common challenges

According to the Canadian Paediatric Society, most toddlers sleep between 11 and 14 hours in a 24-hour period. Common sleep challenges at this age include sleep deprivation, separation issues and nightmares. “Toddlers are famous (and wired) for testing boundaries, and bedtime is no exception,” Braunstein said. “The most common challenges I see are resistance to going to bed (‘just one more story!’), frequent night wakings or early rising. And transitions like moving to a big-kid bed, nap transitions and starting daycare or preschool can also stir up sleep disruptions.”

With so much going on in such a little body, it’s no wonder sleep can be a challenge. The big take-home tip, according to Braunstein, “is to avoid a bedtime that is too late.” You don’t want your toddler getting overtired, because then bedtime is even harder.

Creating a calm sleep environment

You can follow all the expert advice on getting your toddler ready for bed, but if their room isn’t conducive to quiet rest time, it will reverse all your hard work. My son’s bedroom was nice and dark, with a window shade and blackout curtains, but also a small nightlight, so he wasn’t in pitch darkness. He was also always hot, so we only used a light blanket. There were no screens of any kind in his bedroom at this age.

If your child is a light sleeper, it’s recommended to use a white noise or sound machine to block out household noises and create a consistent sleep cue. We also cut back on distractions, like too many toys. It’s all about making their bedroom feel like a safe and comforting space, free from anything that is overly stimulating.

Essential elements of a toddler wind-down routine

Here’s a list of calming activities that can be incorporated into a wind-down bedtime routine:

• Warm bath: Relaxes muscles and signals a temperature drop, which aids in sleep.
• Gentle massage: Promotes relaxation and bonding.
• Reading books: Encourages quiet time, language development and imaginative play.
• Quiet play: Low-energy activities like puzzles, drawing or building blocks.
• Lullabies or soft music: Soothe and create a peaceful atmosphere.
• Cuddles and quiet conversation: Reinforce connection and security.
• Brushing teeth and changing into pyjamas: Practical steps that also serve as routine cues.

It doesn’t matter what order you do these things in as long as you do it in the same order night after night. Consistency is key.

Easy wind-down routines to try based on your toddler’s temperament

• The “quick and easy” routine (20-30 mins): Bath, PJs, brush teeth, two books, cuddles, lights out.
• The “sensory-focused” routine (30-45 mins): Warm bath with calming scents, gentle massage, PJs, quiet music, one to two books, cuddles, lights out.
• The “active toddler” routine (30-45 mins): Last burst of outdoor play (early evening), quiet indoor play, bath, PJs, brush teeth, books, lullabies, lights out.

“A routine doesn’t need to be long or complicated, and 15 to 30 minutes is plenty,” said Braunstein. “The key is to follow the same order every night, so your toddler knows what’s coming next.”

Troubleshooting common bedtime battles

It’s funny how our littles use the same excuses we did to extend bedtime: “one more story,” “I’m thirsty,” or getting out of bed (over and over again). Get ahead of the bedtime stalling by having strategies to manage them. Some parents use a “bedtime pass” good for one last-minute request, offer limited choices, or set clear boundaries with a loving but firm approach before the bedtime routine begins.

Remember that daytime activities, as well as naps, can influence nighttime sleep too. Kids need to do physical activity to expend all that energy. And, at a certain age, daytime naps could curtail restful nighttime sleep (we had to move from two naps to one at toddler age).

Plus, big milestones like transitioning from a crib to a bed can throw a monkey wrench into your routine. Stick to your routine and your toddler will get back on track.

Consistency is the most important factor for success, even on weekends or holidays. Establishing a routine takes time and patience, and setbacks are a normal part of the process. And, as Montreal-based mom Zuzanna warned playfully, “Never ever say to another parent, ‘Oh, I’m sure they’ll sleep well tonight’. Because they won’t!”

Peaceful nights, happy families

A well-established nighttime routine can have a profound impact on a toddler’s sleep quality and overall well-being. A calming environment and a predictable sequence of activities are the cornerstones of success. Don’t look at the bedtime routine as a chore; embrace this time as an opportunity for connection and to foster healthy sleep habits that will benefit your child for years to come.

“My daughter and I have a snuggle sesh before bed every night, and I always tell her the same things: ‘I love you, you are special and beautiful, you did this or that today, and I’m so proud of you’,” said Montreal mom Gabriela. “Positive affirmations calm her and set the tone for relaxation. She’s a champion sleeper.”

Make a routine that works for you and your child, and stick with it. In the end, a peaceful bedtime can make a big difference in the happiness of not only your child but the entire family.